All Figured Out?

Hey! I hope you're okay!

Today I thought I'd talk about something that has been playing on my mind for a couple of years now, and I will admit it has had negative effects on me. In terms of fuelling the fire, this question has cause an anxiety wild fire in my brain!
I've noticed some people are studying for their end of year exams, no matter how old you are or what you're studying, this might help take some of the weight and pressure off.

Should I have it 'all figured out' by now?

Sigh, right?! The amount of times I've asked myself this one. I'm 25 now and watching people around me blossoming has really caused me to look inwards and think, am I happy? Deep I know. Friends of mine have been/are currently travelling the world, others have bought houses (actual adult mortgages and everything), they've had babies, some have been married and some are absolutely slaying their career.

Meanwhile, I feel like I'm still yet to advance from square one. I've yet to pass Go, people have been lapping me. I feel like I've just been stuck at around 21 years old and haven't really moved forward from there.

When I was 21 I started studying professional make-up. A Theatrical, special effects, hair and media course that covered every aspect of make-up. I wanted to be a make-up artist and I wanted to understand the make-up world more. I worked hard at the course for a year and I learned so so much. However I didn't really expect the ending to this situation. I fell out of love with the industry. Not because I didn't like the make-up, but because my tutors were so unemotional. They taught without an ounce passion and really sucked the life out of the creativity I had. They bitched and moaned about the industry and really made it seem like the worst job ever. In hindsight I know that I probably shouldn't have let their opinions affect me, but they did. I didn't want to be there anymore so I quit. I felt lost.

Unfortunately then I fell into some bad company who really took advantage of me. I thought they were friends but funnily enough, they don't talk to me now. They convinced me that if I paid for all of our 'VIP' festival tickets, that they would pay me back. Stupidly, I paid for those tickets by using a PAY DAY LOAN. A fricken pay day loan. Believe me I know I was an absolute idiot. As you can imagine I ended up in debt and they all let me down. I had to sell the tickets but didn't get even close to what I paid for them.

So let's fast forward to now. I am 25 and I've just managed to clear my debt and rebuild my credit rating. Fortunately I have also finally figured out where I belong in terms of a career. I had a proper hallelujah moment, let me tell you. I want to work in the music industry. In times where I've been at my lowest, and likewise at my highest, music has always been there for me. When it felt like everyone had let me down, my music collection didn't. I desperately want to be a part of the industry that can help people in that way. I am currently saving the money to study a music industry certificate course at a college in London, AND I've had a 2nd interview with an absolutely massive record label. We're talking, one of the biggest in the world. I won't mention it because I'm scared I'll jinx it, but trust you'll be the first to know if it all goes right!

I don't have babies, I don't have my own house, but I am on my way to my dream career. I am learning to be happy. After a tough few years with anxiety and depression, I feel more 'myself' than I have in a very very long time.

I'm 25 years old and I don't have it all figured out, and that's okay!!!!11!!1
Mate, I didn't think I'd ever be saying that! I kinda want to go skipping down the road, go dancing in the sunlight etc. When I was younger I swore I'd be married and be a Mum by 25. It's really funny how things change. I've stopped comparing myself to other people because everyone has a different life! Life is going to throw different things at every single person, everyone is going through their own set of ups and downs. Their own set backs and their own successes. You really need to focus on yourself (as hard as that can be sometimes) be selfish!

Don't freak out if you don't get the grades/outcome you expect. I know it's easier said than done but trust me, there are always brighter days. You just need to give the rain a chance to clear. Good grades are an incredible achievement and they will help you massively, however, good grades aren't the only road to success. Life is full of so many varied experiences. Don't put yourself under too much pressure! Trust yourself, trust your judgement and trust me, you'll be just fine! I am so thankful for all I've been through because now I'm wiser and I have some interesting stories and advice to pass on to others.

If you're studying or taking exams right now, good luck. Do your best and remember that you don't have to prove anything to ANYONE except yourself.

Til next time,


  1. I see so many of mine and my boyfriend's mutual friends get engaged and I honestly get engagement envy 🙈 then I remember me and my boyfriend met when I was 19 and we live in London and just about scrape by. It's definitely all about putting your life into perspective and not comparing it to others no matter how hard it might be!

    Chloe x

    1. Exactly! What with social media and everything, people are much more open than they have ever been. We're a bunch of over sharers hahah, it makes it so hard to focus on just our own progress without comparison.